... the insights & blessings of an imperfect older woman

HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS GUEST {Part 1} | When Invited for a Meal in Someone’s Home

The scripture tells us over and over again that … the Lord is gracious and compassionate. Oh, how I want to be like Him … full of grace!

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

To be gracious by the biblical definition is to be kind, courteous, favorable, benevolent, forgiving … and to implant grace. I love that picture of implanting grace. It’s so … intentional.

The art of being gracious simply put means to intentionally be like Christ; implanting grace, thinking of others above yourselves … agreeing to be second … and to do things that consider the feelings and hearts of those around you.

So, how does that translate to everyday living … when we are in public, in someone’s home, in a classroom, or when visiting a foreign country?

In a series on “HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS GUEST”, I will be sharing some practical thoughts on how to implant grace among those you come in contact with.

So … join me … and be sure to share your ideas in the comments section!

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HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS GUEST

{When Invited For a Meal In Someone’s Home}

RSVP in due time so that your host/hostess can plan the menu.
Be punctual. If unable to arrive on time, be sure to make immediate contact with your host/hostess to let her know you are running late.
Bring a small hostess gift to express appreciation (i.e. fruit, chocolate, baked good, household item, candle, bookmark, etc.). This does not need to be expensive or fancy … only a gesture of your thankfulness for being thought of and included in their hospitality.
Honor Jurisdiction (area of authority) by:
- Always asking how you can help rather than deciding for yourself how to do so. Remember … service is only service if your host/hostess considers it service.
- Be sure to do as your host/hostess asks (ie NOT helping with prep or clean-up), even if you are uncomfortable with his/her request
- Never invite other guests to join you without first asking your host/hostess for permission
Even in homes you feel comfortable in, always be mindful not to be intrusive (i.e. looking into the fridge or pantry, picking up mail, getting onto computer, etc.)

Be considerate about food served …
- Do not be picky
- Be adventurous – always try food from other cultures, even if it doesn’t look like something you’d like. You’ll be surprised at how yummy it can be.
- If food served is not to your liking – politely say “No, Thank You”
- No matter how distasteful you think it may be [never, never, never] criticize food served to you.
- Do not make a scene or hold your nose if you do not like the smell of some food
Do not take more food than you can eat.
Show consideration to other guests – [i.e. take small portions, leaving plenty for others to enjoy, as well].
Use your manners — Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, do not slurp, burp, pick your teeth (or your nose), or make any other bodily noises while in another’s presence.
Dress neatly and appropriately – although it may be at a home setting, the event may be special or formal, so be sure to ask what the occasion may be.
Be conscious of the time – do not overstay your welcome by imposing on the hospitality of the host/hostess.
Express gratefulness … consider sending a ‘thank you’ note. Remember ~ Gratefulness not expressed … is not gratefulness.

Posted in Honor, How to Be A Gracious Guest, Insights

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PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I’M {NOT} SAYING!

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to sit down and pin words here. Not because I’ve had nothing to share but because I’ve had SO much to share, I didn’t know where to begin again.

About a year ago, God called us to surrender to a new plan He had for us … and our journey across the world began. We are now making our home in SE Asia; doing what we believe we’ve been called to do — having met so many wonderful but different people and having learned so much. My blessings overflow!

As I ponder the experiences and people that I’ve been blessed with over the many years of our ministry, I’m impressed by one constant that transcends culture or location. We have ALL been hurt and broken and … we ALL need to be lifted up and loved, no matter what!

Years ago (really … A LOT of YEARS ago) as a high school student, my creative writing teacher shared this anonymous but profound piece. I’ll never forget how I related to it then … or how I relate to it now. I know that I’m not the only one.

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I’M NOT SAYING

Don’t be fooled by me.

Don’t be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks –

masks that I’m afraid to take off — and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me

But don’t be fooled, for God’s sake don’t be fooled.

I give you the impression that I’m secure

That all is sunny and unruffled with me

– within as well as without,

that confidence is my name

and coolness my game,

that the water’s calm and I’m in command,

and that I need no one.

But don’t believe me. Please — don’t believe me!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,

My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.

Beneath dwells the real me — in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.

I don’t want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weaknesses

and fear exposing them.

That’s why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.

They’re nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend,

To shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,

my only salvation,

and I know it.

That is … if it’s followed by acceptance,

and if it’s followed by love.

It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,

from my own self-built prison walls

from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.

That glance from you is the only thing that assures me

of what I can’t assure myself,

– that I’m really worth something.

But I don’t tell you this.

I don’t dare.

I’m afraid to.

I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh

– and your laugh would kill me.

I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good

– and you will see this

and reject me.

So … I play my game, my desperate, pretending game

With a facade of assurance without

And a trembling child within.

So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,

And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that’s nothing

And nothing of what’s everything, of what’s crying within me.

So … when I’m going through my routine

Do not be fooled by what I’m saying,

Please listen carefully and try to hear

what I’m not saying.

Hear what I’d like to say

but what I can not say.

I dislike hiding.

Honestly I do.

I dislike the superficial game I’m playing,

the superficial phony game.

I’d really like to be genuine

– and me.

But I need your help, your hand to hold

Even though my masks would tell you otherwise.

It will not be easy for you.

Long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.

The nearer you approach me

The blinder I may strike back.

Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;

I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.

You wonder who I am?

I am every man you meet

And … every woman you meet

Don’t be fooled by me.

Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.

May we look into the eyes of those we meet … and hear more than what they are saying. May we see through the eyes of our Father who looks into the heart of those He loves … and hear what they are NOT saying.

Posted in Insights

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GRAND-PARENTING FROM A DISTANCE

I’m blessed to have 10 grandchildren, ages 11 years and younger. They are the joys of my heart and I could easily enjoy being that grandmother who bakes big, fat cookies and spends each afternoon sharing precious moments with her babies. Unfortunately, my grandchildren are scattered across many miles and though I am blessed to have some wonderful ‘Grammy-time’ memories with them, I just don’t get to see them as much as I like.

Being in the mission field during some of their growing up years and now anticipating our return to a mission country literally across the globe from my sweet ones, finding a way to keep our relationships growing and intimate is very important. We must grab all the opportunities possible to make sure that when we DO get to be together, there is a closeness already established.

I know I am not the only one who has a distance challenge with their grandchildren so a while back I posted a question on myFACEBOOK page and asked my readers to share their ideas of how to stay in touch with their grandchildren across the miles. Here are some of the ideas that were shared, along with some I’ve collected and used along the way:

IDEAS FOR STAYING CLOSE

* Phone Calls*

* Email Notes ~ eCards ~ Faxes *

* SKYPE ~ Video Chat Program *

* iPhone4 Face-Time *

* Family Website *

* FACEBOOK ~ Social Network *

* Record Songs, Rhymes and Read-Aloud Stories *

{Lullabies for litte ones, Stories that were your own child’s favorites, Praise Songs}

* Start a Hobby or Collection together *

{Periodically adding new items to your grandchild’s assortment}

* Create A Family Newsletter *

{This is a great idea for one of your grandchildren to head up – let them be responsible for collecting poems, drawings, photos, articles, calendars, book and movie reviews, upcoming events, announcements, etc.}

* Write Letters *

{Enclose stamps, prepaid postcards, and self-addressed, stamped envelopes with a packet of stationery, ink pad, rubber stamp, and stickers}

* Send Greeting Cards *

{Add stickers, gum, comics, coloring book pages, small puzzles, collector’s cards, paper dolls, personalized memo pads, pencil sets, etc}

* Mail Taped Messages back and forth *

* Play a Game – ie checkers, chess — by mail *

* Watch a Sporting Event or Television Show together over the phone *

* Share Recipes *

{Bake samples and send by priority mail; tuck a copy of the recipe inside the box}

* Clip Pictures, Cartoons, Articles *

{Pick areas of your grandchild’s interests to encourage ongoing communication}

* Videotape Important Events *

{Take video of your new home, places you visit, messages to them, etc. and email or post privately on YouTube}

These are wonderful ideas for keeping in touch with those special little people in your life. If you have another idea, please be sure to share in the comments section below!

Can’t wait to hear your ideas!

{Some of the ideas on this list come from the book, Ready or Not, You’re A Grandparent by Debra Evans}

Posted in Grand-Parenting, Insights

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BAKED POTATO SOUP

With spring upon us and the winter ‘soup season’ ending, we were happy to have just one more day of chilly weather to enjoy a pot of warm, creamy goodness. This hearty soup fills the bill perfectly with it’s chunky ingredients, real butter, rich cream, and crumbled bacon. This soup is not the one you’ll choose for it’s low calorie properties but it is oh, so worth it!

BAKED POTATO SOUP

5 #’s Unpeeled, New Potatoes {sliced or cubed}

5 ~ 14 1/2 ounce cans Chicken Broth

1 # Butter

1 bunch of Celery, chopped

2 bunches Green Onions, chopped

1/2 cup Flour

3 quarts Half /Half ~ If thicker soup is desired, reduce to 2 qts

1 # Bacon

1 pint Sour Cream

1 # mild Cheddar Cheese, grated

Salt and Pepper, to taste

Boil potatoes in chicken broth until cooked but still firm. While potatoes are boiling, saute celery and 3/4 amount of onions in butter. Stir in flour and enough chicken broth from potatoes to reach a smooth consistency. Drain broth from potatoes into a container and set potatoes aside. Alternately add equal amounts of broth and half/half to the sauteed celery and green onion mixture as it thickens. Then add potatoes to mixture and simmer on low heat. Fry bacon until crispy in a separate pan. Drain bacon and crumble. Put 1/2 of bacon in soup and set the remaining bacon aside. When ready to serve, top bowl of potato soup with grated cheese, sour cream, bacon and green onions.

YIELD: 8-10 Servings

* Soup can be eaten right away but is especially yummy when it sits overnight

ENJOY!!

Posted in Recipes, Soups & Salads

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